Written by Kami Singh-Gocool
Growing up in Guyana, my mother rarely said the words, “I love you” or “I’m proud of you.” The familiar phrases she would usually yell at me were, “come back home as soon as school is finished!” or “don’t go anywhere with people you don’t know!” We never really had discussions about life and what I could expect when lemons would eventually get thrown my way. The most I remember my mom sharing was childhood stories of her growing up in Guyana. My mother’s love was implied through her daily actions and behaviour. I knew she loved me, and I knew her intentions were always pure.
Although we didn’t have a verbally affectionate relationship growing up, I see how much she loves my daughters and tells them how much she loves and cares for them. I value my relationship with her and couldn’t ask for anything more. Now as an (almost) 40-year old woman with three kids—two of them, daughters, I can better understand the unspoken lessons my mom taught me.
I want both of my daughters to know I am proud of them and that I will always love them, but as an Indo-Caribbean mom raising Indo-Caribbean American kids, it’s important for them to learn the following life lessons as they continue to grow.
My girls, like other first-generation Indo-Caribbean Americans in this generation, will never understand certain challenges that I’ve experienced growing up in Guyana. They will have their own challenges to deal with. As their mother, I can’t fight their battles or hover with directions their whole lives, instead the best thing I can do is give them my support and trust that I have taught them important life lessons.
Here are 10 powerful life lessons to teach your daughter
Be RESILIENT— This world wasn’t designed to meet all of your needs and wants. Life will get hard; you will encounter challenges from time to time. Be prepared to meet each hardship and roadblock with strength and your best self.
Never stop LEARNING— You’re never too old to learn from books, listening to others, and from lessons.
CHOOSE when to say SORRY— Women, in general, are always apologizing for things. Say it only when needed, but don’t apologize for your decisions when explaining it to others.
Seek out people that RESONATE with you— Not everyone needs to be your friend or family member; just because you’re related doesn’t make you obligated to be close to them. Find people around that bring you positive energy and push you to be your best self.
DON'T WORRY about what other people think of you— this one will be a challenge for sure, but it becomes easier as you get older.
Be THANKFUL— there are so many things in life we take for granted, find one thing each day to be thankful for; your health, home, family, friends, love, etc.
PRAY— Aside from your mother, no one will love you more than God himself. If you’re looking for advice, guidance, peace, and anything else, he may not respond, but he’s listening.
Take care of YOU— no one else knows your body more than you. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, always put yourself first.
You will make MISTAKES— However, these will teach you to grow into a stronger and better person.
Understand MARRIAGE— if/when you decide to get married, it’s important to understand that you’re not just marrying the person but their entire family.
Kami is a work at home mom that loves all creative things; she enjoys photography, cooking, crafts, and shopping at Kirkland's and Target by herself. When Kami's not working on her Family & Lifestyle blog LIFE WITH KAMI and homeschooling her 3 kids, her guilty pleasure includes binge-watching Netflix and doing at-home manicures.